Yeti (White Out)

Yeti in White Out — the one colorway where you can actually SEE him. Blizzard-white background, black Patterson-Gimlin silhouette mid-stride, black graffiti scrawl, zero color noise. Every other Bigfoot photo is a blurry brown smudge in the trees. This one's a whiteout in Willow Creek and Squatch forgot his camouflage. Bob Gimlin would've had a clean frame for once. BFRO would've closed the case in '67. Instead we got sixty years of shaky camcorder footage and one very confused John Lithgow.

The bag runs 5/9 hybrid with grey carpet on the slow side, which is two bags in one mitt. Carpet grabs and sits down — block the lane, hold a hanger, park a roll on the edge and dare them to move it. Flip to the slick side and it's a runner. Push a hole, slide one home, send it. It's not a rocket. It's a Swiss Army cryptid.

Lace 'em up. Pack the peanut butter. Leave the flash off. Go squatchin'.